If you or someone you know needs immediate emotional support, call or text 988 or use the online chat at 988lifeline.org. If you are experiencing domestic or sexual violence in New York, call 800-942-6906, text 844-997-2121, or chat at opdv.ny.gov.
September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, a time to increase understanding, reduce stigma, and connect people with support. At NYSCADV, it is also an opportunity to recognize the important, and sometimes overlooked, intersection between suicide and domestic violence.
Understanding the Intersection
Domestic violence can affect emotional and mental health in many ways. Survivors may experience trauma, isolation, fear, financial abuse, disrupted relationships, housing instability, or repeated messages intended to undermine their worth and credibility. These conditions can contribute to hopelessness or suicidal thoughts, particularly when support feels inaccessible.
An abusive partner may also threaten suicide to pressure a survivor to remain in a relationship, return after leaving, disclose their location, or take responsibility for the abusive partner's well-being. Take these threats seriously without placing responsibility for another person's actions on the survivor. Advocates can help survivors consider safety options that protect their agency and account for the risks created by the abusive partner.
Barriers to help are not experienced equally and limited access to responsive care may increase isolation or make some crisis responses feel unsafe. Suicide prevention within domestic violence services must therefore be trauma-informed, culturally responsive, accessible, and grounded in survivor choice.
How to Respond
- Listen without judgment. Make room for the person to describe what they are experiencing without rushing to correct, minimize, or solve it.
- Ask directly and calmly. If you are concerned about suicide, asking whether someone is thinking about harming themselves does not create suicidal thoughts. A clear question can open the door to an honest conversation.
- Believe survivors. Validate the abuse, the impact it has had, and the person's right to make decisions about their safety and support.
- Explore options together. Discuss trusted people, culturally relevant resources, crisis services, medications or weapons that may be accessible, safe places, transportation, technology safety, and what emergency responses could increase risk.
- Avoid promising secrecy. Be transparent about any legal or organizational limits on confidentiality before a disclosure whenever possible.
- Support continued connection. When appropriate and welcomed, help the person identify who can check in, what will happen next, and how they can reconnect with support.
Using 988 as Part of Safety Planning
The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline provides free, confidential support by call, text, or chat 24 hours a day. According to the Lifeline, counselors recommend contacting emergency services only when risk of harm is imminent or in progress and a less-invasive safety plan cannot be developed collaboratively.
For some survivors, particularly people who have experienced harmful system responses, criminalization, racism, ableism, or anti-LGBTQ+ discrimination, the possibility of law-enforcement or emergency-service involvement may affect whether a resource feels safe. When possible, advocates should discuss crisis-response preferences in advance, explain what is known about a service's policies, and avoid guaranteeing an outcome they cannot control.
No single resource is right for everyone. A survivor-centered plan may include 988, a domestic violence advocate, a culturally specific helpline, a trusted clinician, peer support, chosen family, or another community-based option.
Resources and Support
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — Free and confidential emotional support by call, text, or chat, 24/7. Call or text 988. Chat or learn more
NIMH: 5 Action Steps for Helping Someone in Emotional Pain — Practical guidance on asking directly about suicide, listening, supporting safety, connecting to resources, and following up. View the action steps
New York State Domestic and Sexual Violence Hotline — Confidential support in most languages, 24/7. Call 800-942-6906, text 844-997-2121, or chat online. Get help
National Domestic Violence Hotline — Free, confidential support and safety planning, 24/7. Call 800-799-SAFE (7233), text START to 88788, or chat online. Get help
StrongHearts Native Helpline — Anonymous and confidential domestic and sexual violence support for Native Americans and Alaska Natives, 24/7. Call or text 844-762-8483 or chat online. Get help
Trans Lifeline — Peer support by and for trans and questioning people. Call 877-565-8860, Monday through Friday, 1:00–9:00 PM Eastern. Trans Lifeline states that it does not initiate nonconsensual emergency intervention. View current hours and policies
The Trevor Project — Free, confidential crisis support for LGBTQ+ young people, 24/7. Call 866-488-7386, text START to 678-678, or chat online. Get help
A Note for Domestic Violence Programs
Programs can strengthen suicide safer services by incorporating mental health and crisis-response preferences into safety planning, training staff to respond to disclosures without stigma, maintaining clear confidentiality and emergency-response policies, and developing relationships with local behavioral health and culturally specific providers.
Staff also need consultation and support after difficult situations. A thoughtful organizational response should make room for debriefing without requiring survivors to retell their stories unnecessarily or treating staff distress as an individual failure.
We All Have a Role
Suicide prevention is not about finding the perfect words or taking control away from someone in pain. It is about noticing, listening, responding with care, and helping people remain connected to choices and support. During Suicide Prevention Month, and throughout the year, we can build responses that honor safety, dignity, culture, and survivor agency.
